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DEAR ABBY: My sister “Sandy” divorced her husband 15 years in the past. Her oldest son, “Nick,” has by no means gotten over it. He’s 30 now and has handled her badly over time. He not solely vandalized her residence however has additionally stated horrible issues to her. She maintained a relationship with him regardless of his behaviour, supporting him emotionally and generally financially.
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Sandy has been engaged to her long-term boyfriend for 3 years, however Nick is hostile towards him. He calls him names, denigrates his religion and refuses to simply accept him as a part of the household. Her fiance has grown uninterested in this remedy, and I’m afraid it could trigger their breakup.
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My sister doesn’t need to lose her son over this, and everybody in our household, together with her different youngsters, loves Nick. What can she do? — SEES DYSFUNCTION IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR SEES: What your sister ought to do relies upon upon what’s extra necessary to her. If shedding her fiance to take care of a relationship together with her disrespectful and unloving son is paramount, she ought to finish their romantic relationship. In fact, it received’t change her son’s deplorable behaviour, and he or she should settle for that. OR she will determine to go on together with her life and presumably marry her gentleman pal. The remainder of the household can proceed to like Nick as a lot as they need, and everybody will probably be happier.
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P.S. I can’t assist however surprise why this letter got here from you and never out of your sister. Essentially the most unwelcome recommendation is that which is unsolicited.
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DEAR ABBY: So far as I’m involved, my marriage is over. For the previous 10 years or extra, my spouse has recklessly spent our joint financial savings and my pension financial savings, taken out bank cards in my title with out my data and put us by way of chapter. We now have over $50k in debt with nothing left. She has additionally been having affairs on the facet.
I can’t belief a phrase she says or proceed to reside like this. Every time, she has begged for forgiveness and promised to not do it anymore — till she does it per week later. We agreed to separate a month in the past, however now she realizes there’s not going to be any common earnings from me and needs to remain married. Once I informed her no, she attacked me bodily.
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I don’t need the police concerned. I’ve a daughter on the spectrum. Though she’s a younger grownup, she’s going to blame me, and what relationship I’ve together with her will probably be destroyed. I’ve been suggested to not transfer out, as that may be seen by the courts as abandoning my property to her. Please advise, Abby. — END OF THE ROAD
DEAR END: One of the best recommendation I can give you is to inform this story to the very best divorce lawyer you could find (interview SEVERAL) and observe that individual’s recommendation TO THE LETTER. If you happen to should stay on the property, purchase a sturdy lock in your bed room door, and use it. In case your spouse turns into violent once more, DO contain the police, and get out of there as quickly as you safely can.
— Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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