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DEAR ABBY: I’m a 77-year-old girl with a 27-year-old granddaughter who loves digital devices and toys. She’s snug financially and infrequently buys costly items for me. Whereas I respect her generosity and her need to make my life “simpler and extra enjoyable,” I merely am NOT INTERESTED in them.
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I discover these units extra irritating than gratifying. I don’t NEED something, and I don’t WANT something. I’ve requested her repeatedly to please not spend her cash on me, however it falls on deaf ears. Maybe should you print this, she may notice how tough it generally is for us older of us to make use of these devices. How can I get my level throughout with out hurting her emotions? — GOOD INTENTIONS
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DEAR GOOD INTENTIONS: Inform your granddaughter you like her and respect her generosity, however digital devices aren’t gratifying for you, and you would like she would cease giving them to you. If she asks what you may like, clarify (once more) that you do not want something however would as a substitute prefer to spend time or go to an occasion along with her. That message mustn’t trigger damage emotions.
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DEAR ABBY: I’ve one sibling, a sister, who’s three years youthful than I’m. Our mother may be very aged. My sister and I’ve a horrible relationship. We can not get alongside.
When Mother dies, wouldn’t it be OK for me to not go to the funeral? We’ve got no different household, and I’ve no need to see my sister. Mother and I’ve an incredible relationship. Do different folks expertise this? I instructed her lawyer I can’t go. He stated he understands. — ON MY OWN IN NEW YORK
DEAR O.M.O.: Funerals might appear to be “for” the deceased, however they’re actually to consolation the residing. The time to exhibit respect and affection is whereas somebody resides. You may have performed that along with your mom for a few years. I doubt there may be a lot left unsaid between you. When your mom passes, do what feels proper to you. Your mom’s lawyer stated he understands. That needs to be sufficient dispensation.
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DEAR ABBY: After spending hours making ready a meal, is it acceptable to your visitor to cowl the meals on their plate with salt and pepper with out first tasting it? Past being inappropriate, isn’t it simply plain impolite? Ought to I say one thing? By no means invite them for a meal once more? Or simply let it go? — IN A STATE IN THE GARDEN STATE
DEAR IN A STATE: The subsequent time a visitor reflexively gestures towards the saltshaker with out having taken a chunk of your meals, you’d be inside your rights to ask WHY. Maybe your cooking tends towards the underspiced.
If you’re really offended by this, no rule of etiquette decrees that you could invite the individual once more. (I additionally know of no rule of etiquette that states a number MUST put salt and pepper on the desk.) If a friendship is a heat one, I’m inclined to permit my company to do no matter makes them snug, respect them for who they’re and let one thing like this go.
— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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