Is there any way to give a message to one of the husbands in our social group? His wife is a good friend, but his snide remarks are spoiling an otherwise enjoyable time for everyone.
W.C., Lane Cove, NSW
Credit: Drew Aitken
Pretty much every couple is made up of one person who is The Sparkly Shiny Socialising Superstar, and the other person who is … The Other Person. The Sidekick. The Lesser One. The Not-Quite-As-Sparkly.
Or, more often than not, The Man.
Sometimes the difference between them is very subtle. You may think you like both of them equally – you could never pick a favourite – but then you remember that one of them says the word “prosciutto” in a slightly pretentious Italian-ish way and it’s kind of annoying. They’re still a terrific person, but “prosciutto” diminishes them a tad.
At other times, the differences are extreme. One member of the couple exudes a radiant light that fills the planet with joyous energy, and the other member of the couple is a dick. And this is tough because you adore the good person, you want nothing but happiness for the good person, but you spend way too much time wondering how you can permanently destroy the good person’s relationship.
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This is the situation you find yourself in and it’s not an uncommon one. Unfortunately, love is mysterious and sometimes the finest people are attracted to the snidest. My advice? Don’t say anything or you could risk damaging a precious friendship. Ignore the husband and keep as far away from his snidery as you can. Or return fire with your own snide remarks and see if he gets the hint. Alternatively, just start socialising more often without husbands.
All parties will be happier that way; trust me on this.
