A Reddit thread asking men to debunk common misconceptions about their gender has revealed the ways in which social stereotypes often misrepresent men’s experiences.
The thread, which asked the question, “Men of reddit, what is a 100 percent myth about men?” went viral on August 18, with over 6,000 comments from posters weighing in. From limited emotional expression to assumptions about men’s thoughts on sex, two experts told Newsweek about some of the themes that came up most.
Sandra Kushnir, founder and CEO of Meridian Counseling, said that it is important to situate the conversation in a larger societal context.
“When discussing the myths surrounding men, it’s crucial to recognize the significant impact that socialization has on shaping men’s abilities to cope with their emotions, understand their needs and express themselves authentically,” Kushnir said. “From a young age, men and women are socialized differently, which profoundly influences how they relate to their emotional experiences.”
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What Men Online Really Think
One of the most upvoted responses on the Reddit thread tackled the myth that men are constantly thinking about physical release.
“That we are always thinking about sex,” u/AccessDenied7 wrote. “People vastly underestimate how much we think about good food.”
Another user, u/antlerpanda, elaborated on this theme, writing that physical attraction doesn’t necessarily equate to a desire for a relationship or sex: “Thinking someone is attractive is not the same as wanting to sleep or pursue a relationship with someone.”
These comments point to the complexity of male attraction and the false assumptions that can accompany it—but others focused more on important myths about fatherhood.
“I’m not ‘babysitting’ when I’m with my daughter; I’m being a father,” u/caradepacman123 wrote about the popular notion that caregiving is primarily a female responsibility.
Another important myth that surfaced in the discussion is the belief that men don’t need or want emotional support. User u/WoWLaw wrote about the myths “that men don’t want or need compliments. That men don’t cry. That men have to ‘man up and deal’ with hard things. That men prefer to pursue over being pursued.” He added that men crave emotional and mental stimulation just as much as women do, but societal expectations often discourage them from expressing these needs.
Socialization and Men’s Mental Health
Kushnir told Newsweek that the myths illuminated in the Reddit post are deeply ingrained due to socialization.
“Men, in particular, are often taught to suppress their emotions and conform to a narrow definition of masculinity,” she said. “This societal expectation is encapsulated in the idea that men must ‘man up’ and deal with challenges without showing vulnerability.
“This disconnection can result in significant mental health challenges, as men are often deprived of the tools and support systems needed to process and express their emotions healthily.”
Kushnir said that men’s mental health can be overlooked due to this socialization, citing higher rates of male suicide compared to females. The expectation that men should be stoic and self-reliant is partly to blame.
Challenging the Myths
Paul Aaron Travis, founder of The School for Love and facilitator of men’s groups, also spoke to Newsweek about the viral discussion. He said that many of the myths gloss over the complexities of men’s emotional lives.
About the myth that men are always thinking about sex and physical release, he said: “An equal, if not greater, number of men are hoping to overcome their erectile or ejaculatory issues or fantasizing about foreplay and other engagement—all in order to please their partner.”
Travis also addressed the myth that men are emotionally clueless, noting, in line with Kushnir, that societal conditioning often forces men to suppress their feelings from a young age.
“The notion that men are clueless about feelings is made without considering the societal messages boys receive from birth,” he said. “I cannot overstate this enough—men didn’t choose to be like this.”
The Reddit thread and expert insights both point to a need for a cultural shift in how society understands and supports men’s experiences. To this end, Kushnir advocated for the constant, everyday challenging of such stereotypes.
“Men, like all human beings, have a deep need for connection, empathy and understanding,” Kushnir said. “By creating spaces where men feel safe to express their emotions without judgment, we can begin to dismantle the harmful myths that have long constrained them.”
