With September in full swing, many of us are now on the countdown to sending our children off to university, and with that comes empty nest syndrome.
“Many parents feel grief and a profound sense of loss when their remaining children move out,” BACP-accredited therapist Billie Dunlevy says of empty nest syndrome. “Some parents can experience a loss of purpose, an identity crisis and an increase in anxiety or depression,” she continues.
BACP-registered counsellor Georgina Sturmer adds that an empty nest can feel isolating: “Our homes feel quieter and we might feel as if we have been left behind. It’s a reminder that we are moving through life and getting older. Our sense of purpose might feel diminished and our sense of identity can hang in the balance.”
Nobody is immune to empty nest syndrome, though, with many of our favourite celebrities sharing their worry about empty nests.
Read on for the stars who have spoken openly about their kids leaving home…
© Ian West – PA ImagesAmanda Holden’s empty nest
BGT star Amanda Holden spoke openly about her 18-year-old daughter Lexi flying the nest, sharing mixed feelings on the change.
“I want her to live the biggest life she can live,” Amanda told HELLO!, adding: “So I’ll have to say goodbye. But children always come back.”
This isn’t the first time Amanda has shared her emotion over Lexi leaving the family home – the TV star broke down in tears during an episode of her programme with comedian Alan Carr, Amanda & Alan’s Italian Job, when discussing her children flying the nest.
“They say you have 18 summers and then you’re lucky to see them. It’s so terrible because you wish so much of it away when you’re a busy parent. And then you turn around and they’re not even there,” she said during a taping of the TV show.
© InstagramGwyneth Paltrow’s empty nest
Never one to shy away from dramatic emotions, Gwynnie told The Sunday Times she was dreading her son Moses leaving home.
“I’ve been so defined and so fulfilled by motherhood. I don’t even know how to articulate it. It’s like the guiding force. It’s what I return to.
“I never really go anywhere or do anything because I want to be around my kids while they live at home. You know, it’s like, ‘Oh, we’re doing a girls’ weekend here and there,’ and I’m like, ‘[expletive] no, I have 88 days left of Moses living [with me].
“It’s been basically 20 years of me being beholden to a school calendar – so what will that feel like to not have that?” she mused, adding that the idea of him leaving brought “incredible sadness” to mind.
“On the one hand, incredible sadness. A deep sense of impending grief,” Gwyneth shared. “On the other hand, this is exactly what should be happening.”
“Your kids are supposed to be young adults who can achieve and cope and make connections and be resilient. That’s exactly what you want. And that means they leave the house.”
Gwyneth spoke of her sadness again on the Goop Podcast, lamenting to guest Victoria Beckham: “My son [Moses] is going to college in August, and my stepson is too. We’re going to have an empty nest.
“I don’t know what is going to be in store for me, I feel like I’m on the precipice of change, I can feel it coming,” she continued, before telling Victoria: “You’re lucky you’ve still got a little one, you’ve got some years left.”
© GettyRuth Langsford’s empty nest
Loose Women star Ruth Langsford had no qualms sharing that she hadn’t handled her only son, Jack, leaving for university.
“I truly understand the pain of empty nest syndrome,” she told Woman & Home. “The day we dropped Jack off at university, we said goodbye and, as we got around the corner, I burst into tears and Eamonn was crying too.
“It sounds dramatic but for the next three days, I felt like I’d had my womb ripped out. It was physical pain. I was sitting on his bed, sniffing his pillow, and I kept his bedroom door shut because then I could imagine he was in there.”
© Getty ImagesReese Witherspoon’s empty nest
Reese Witherspoon still has her youngest son, Tennessee Toth, 11, at home, but that didn’t make bidding farewell to her lookalike daughter, Ava Phillippe, 24, any easier.
“It’s weird when your children go away to college. It’s hard,” Reese said when Ava first moved out. “I might have gone into her empty room, laid down on her bed and cried when she went to college.”
© Dave Benett,gettyTess Daly’s empty nest
Tess shared her honest feelings about her daughter, Phoebe moving out. “Denial. Complete denial!” she told HELLO!. “I can’t even imagine it, but I do know that the whole empty nest syndrome is going to be crazy.
“The centre of my universe has been my kids, so the thought of them ever leaving me feels… wild. I’ve actually told them that they can’t settle more than five miles away from home, and they both just raise their eyebrows at me.
Having said that, Tess, 53, can see some positives to the changes ahead. The Strictly Come Dancing host is looking forward to gaining back some freedom, and, once both girls have moved out, no longer being beholden to the school-holiday calendar.
“I guess it leads to pastures new, like weekend breaks away without being held at the mercy of being back in time for school, as we have been for the past 16 years and counting. That’ll be a luxury.
“But I can’t even think about empty bedrooms. I just can’t go there, it’s too strange to contemplate. I know it’s the future and it’s coming, but I really haven’t come to terms with it just yet.”
© Photo: Getty ImagesShirley Ballas’ empty nest
Shirley Ballas’ son Mark left home almost two decades ago, but the Strictly judge can still recall the pain she felt, telling HELLO! that her son moving out caused “suffering at the highest level.”
Visibly emotional recalling the pain of empty nest syndrome, Shirley shared: “It’s the worst feeling in the world, and you never get used to it. It’s miserable upon miserable and even more miserable.”
Shirley adds that it’s not all doom and gloom, though. She and Mark talk every day via FaceTime and she says when he hugs her, “he never wants to let go.”
Not all the celebrities are fretting about their empty nests, though…
© InstagramVictoria Beckham’s empty nest
© Dave BenettLiz Hurley’s empty nest
Elizabeth Hurley wasn’t too fretful about her beloved son Damian leaving the nest in 2019. “It’s just a rite of life. Parents need their little birds to fly and leave the nest one day,” she told Us Weekly.
