Jeremy Clarkson has always been a big TV presence. But we may well have seen the last of him ruminating from the inside of a sports car. With the end of Grand Tour (Prime), he won’t at least be doing it alongside James May & Richard Hammond anymore.
Everything about this engaging last show was super-sized. It was a feature-length episode, clocking off at two hours and six minutes, all of it, to be fair, with incredible scenery.
They were also journeying across Africa, no small continent, and encountered one of the world’s biggest man-made dams, the Kariba on the Zambezi, half of which Jeremy failed to notice as it was on the other side of his huge map.
They were talking big too, in what was a valedictory programme, celebrating 22 years of their motoring shows together.
Said Jezza: “We don’t give a f*** anymore, we can say whatever we want.”
True fans were disappointed. No one was knowingly offended.
It was the end of an era in television in which a single motoring show, Top Gear, made the so-called Three Amigos world famous.
One scene showed this all too clearly towards the end of the episode.
Clarkson, May and Hammond were in the middle of nowhere when they were approached by four men.
The quartet could have been up to no good but of course the three presenters quickly knew their intentions were only to shake the hands of three TV legends.
Between them, they had turned the car show into a polished piece of entertainment, with schoolboy banter, jolly japes and fast driving.
Men and women equally loved the show, although Clarkson often drove too close to the wind for the BBC.
After their exploits on Top Gear ended in ignominy for Clarkson and his longing for hot food, the trio, along with Andy Wilman, their producer, conceived a feature-length, movie-style HD format suited to everyone’s widescreen televisions.
It was a massive hit but budgets don’t last forever, and so Amazon has said goodbye to what were, at one point, their highest paid presenters.
It’s not without a tinge of sadness that we say goodbye to this presenting trio. Who can forget the almost tragic episode when Hammond crashed the rocket car and suffered serious brain injury? Thankfully it had no lasting impact.
As they powered their boats (with cars) across the Kariba, Clarkson set about emptying the bar, before confessing in the moonlight from a bar stool, “What a career, what a life”.
Grace (ITV, Sun) found itself in familiar climes this week with one killing closer to Midsomer Murders than Brighton Rock.
The first victim was found to have drowned in a vat of milk! It was worthy of Detective Barnaby dealing with a victim felled by a wheel of cheese. Dairy me.
In this case, a “cereal” killer was on the loose. Craig Parkinson’s Norman, normally the office joker, failed to make the obvious gag but caught the murderer.
This was far from the main event. I was more concerned about the estranged wife, Sandy, who was rundown viciously — it’s difficult to do it nicely — in the final minutes.
This was a great tease for the audience. Who’s in the frame for this? Did loved-up Detective Grace book a hitman? Did his Superintendent? Or did the driver think he was playing Grand Theft Auto? If it was simply an accident, what a waste of a storyline.
One note of caution for Grace, now looking to marry. Don’t go out on your stag dressed as a nun and have yourself handcuffed to a railing and with no way of paying for a locksmith. As we saw in the opening scene. It’ll cost you £180 — or six cocktails in Brighton!
Is Michael Whitehall, father of famous Jack, now the real funny one or was he always? In a new Netflix show, Fatherhood with my Father, dad was knocking the one-liners, served up by his son, out of the park. On a trip to LA, they were investigating “wearable tech” at a company, where one worker had magnets under her skin. Quipped Michael: “Have you ever been stuck to a fridge?!”
He often speaks for the nation too. Wrapped in a womb-like cocoon at a retreat, Michael was asked to get rid of characteristics he didn’t like, to which he replied: “20mph speed limits, New World wine, The Guardian, Voice notes… and John Mullingar.” Who? It was his neighbour. For now.
Finally, he was quite taken with a lifelike robot, Amaka, made in Cornwall – “It’s been a pleasure spending time with you…” he told her, earnestly. It was a relief to Jack that “touching wasn’t allowed” but talking about your favourite composer Elgar, or an artist you like, was.
AI might just catch on.
