A new viral TikTok trend has couples sharing the series of casual—or not-so-casual—moments that led them into long-term relationships.
Set to the soundtrack of Chappell Roan‘s “Casual,” a song about the pain of wanting commitment from someone who wants a no-strings attached situation, this trend has become a space for couples to reflect on their “talking” stages.
Roan’s hit has been used almost 50,000 times on TikTok, with some users recounting their experiences of gradually moving from friendship or casual dating into serious, committed relationships. Others have shared how they jumped head first into long-term commitment.
Kirby Johnson (@kirby_j), 28, jumped on the trend to share how she met Luke Eisner, also 28, in the elevator of their apartment building in a movie-like meet-cute moment, describing their journey as a “classic rom com.”
Newsweek spoke to the couple whose four-year friendship blossomed into romance and sought expert insights into what this trend reveals about today’s dating culture.
From Elevator Ride to Lifelong Love
Despite sharing an instant connection, the couple spent four years in a reciprocal friend-zone, both oblivious to the romantic feelings they shared. Their TikTok story, documenting this journey, earned over 945,000 views and more than 156,400 likes.
“Our love story is very much like any classic romcom where a boy and girl are best friends, but you always have a feeling that they might end up together. We truly were best friends before there was ever any romance involved,” Johnson told Newsweek.
The elevator encounter, where Johnson nervously sang in front of Eisner, set the stage for their friendship. “I was singing when he stepped in the elevator in his lime-green board shorts, and I stammered, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m so embarrassed!’ to which he chuckled,” Johnson said. He eased her anxiety by saying it wasn’t embarrassing because it was a good song, she added.
@kirby_j/@kirby_j
After that, Johnson—encouraged by her mom—gave her number to the building’s front desk to pass along to Eisner. From there, the two quickly became best friends, but neither made a romantic move.
Despite spending countless hours together, they remained friends for four years. “We spent so much time together as just friends with zero romance for four years! People never believe that, but we literally never even pop-kissed,” Johnson said. “We grew up together through really formative years with one another, and he’s so wonderful. How could I not fall in love with him?”
It wasn’t until Johnson made the bold decision to tell Eisner she was going on a date with someone else that he finally confessed his feelings. “It was very much like [the Ryan Gosling rom-com] The Notebook,” Johnson added.
Looking back, she reflected on the beauty of their long friendship. “Having a crush on a friend is a really magical thing! I feel so lucky that we were just friends for so long because we really knew each other before we started dating.
“I use the term ‘stuck in the friend-zone’ now on TikTok because that’s easier for people to understand, but that’s not how it felt when I was going through it. We were just friends who also happened to be in love,” Johnson added.
Their story struck a chord with TikTok viewers. “Man, you guys need to be in a movie together!!” one user commented, while another wrote: “Wait didn’t you guys ALSO live in the same building? Ross and Rachel [from ‘Friends’] for real.”
Expert Insights on the Casual Dating Trend
Relationship expert Tina Wilson (@tina_wingman), founder of the dating app Wingman, told Newsweek about the trend. “Singletons are simply not afraid to be vocal about getting to know each other before making it official. They are conscious of not leading on potential partners, so everything has a label—or ‘non-label,'” she said.
Wilson added that Generation Z’s approach to dating often includes longer “talking” phases.
“The ‘casual dating’ trend is all about building on strong foundations of love, respect, compatibility and, above all, friendship before they make it official with a commitment.
“This can come in different forms, and in today’s society, there are no hard and fast rules—some casual daters will have an intense and passionate casual dating period, while others will blossom out of friendship over a period of time,” Wilson said.
Tina Wilson/Tina Wilson
Most Gen Z casual dating scenarios take up to six months, whereas earlier generations usually took around two months, Wilson said.
She added that younger daters tend to delay commitment, preferring to keep things casual to avoid hurt or losing freedom, but this extended phase can strengthen relationships when both parties are genuine about their feelings.
Different Paths to Love
Not all couples take the slow and steady route. One woman, Anna Sturup (@anna_sturup) shared her experience of moving in with her partner the day they met, rejecting the idea of “casual” altogether. Her TikTok, featuring the text “I don’t do casual,” gathered more than 131,000 views. “Basically, I stayed over after our first date and never left,” Sturup said in the comments.
Another woman, @mikaelalouisee, revealed a more creative approach to solidifying her relationship: “I painted him as a sunflower and planned to drop it outside his house when he tried to cut things off.” Her video, showing the custom painting, garnered over 13,000 likes, with viewers praising her boldness.
The Broader Appeal of the Trend
Denis Erturan, a digital marketing and advertising strategist, told Newsweek that the TikTok trend resonates with users because it reflects a broader theme in modern dating.
“The lines between casual and meaningful are increasingly blurred, prompting users to reexamine those early stages of connection. TikTok, with its culture of storytelling and authenticity, became the perfect platform for users to narrate these pivotal moments,” Erturan said.
He added that the trend’s popularity stems from its relatability. “Those early, ambiguous moments in a relationship are something many people relate to. Sharing these personal stories—whether awkward, funny, or unexpectedly tender—creates a sense of connection among viewers who have gone through similar phases.”
