“When God throws things at you, you should not disrespect it,” singer Tanvi Shah told The Hindu a decade ago. Back then, she was one of the most happening singers in the film industry; apart from being the first Indian woman to bag the prestigious Grammy for AR Rahman’s global hit ‘Jai Ho’ (Slumdog Millionaire), Tanvi also had her hands full with performances and film song recordings.
Concerts kept her on her toes even till September last year, when one day she felt something was not right. A doctor’s reassurance that nothing was wrong kept her going, as she was busy with her musical performances. “From September 2023 to March 2024, I was constantly travelling and quite busy, but I kept thinking that something was not right,” recalls the singer, well known for her Tamil hit tracks with Yuvan Shankar Raja and AR Rahman, among others.
She consulted another doctor, and followed up with multiple tests. March 27, 2024 changed Tanvi’s life, the day she realised she had been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Surgery, chemotherapy and radiation sessions followed. “The process was difficult; my mind went for a toss. It was a task to even get through the day, and I felt damaged. I could not hold a pen; my hands would shiver. I couldn’t journal, I couldn’t write my songs,” she recalls.
Tanvi also had second-degree burns due to radiation and lost much of her hair. “I could not get myself to look at a mirror for three months. Believe me, for women, our hair is our ego. Also, I usually don’t like asking for help. What I’ve realised thanks to this phase is that it’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay to not be strong.”
These were the weeks that Tanvi slowly went into a cocoon. “The doctors advised me to speak to people, but I did not want to burden anyone. I did not want people telling me what to do or share experiences of someone they knew who had undergone similar experiences. All I wanted was some peace of mind and courage to push through this.”
What helped during this arduous phase was the singer’s regular work out sessions at Primal Patterns and several Shambavi meditation sessions. “I was at peace during those days.”
The music will continue
Tanvi did not switch on music, which her life has largely revolved around all these years, for nearly 45 days. “Mentally, I was not okay to switch on the shruti box….” After completing three weeks of radiation, the Grammy Award winner is now getting back to business. “I am doing my riyaz for Hindustani classical. I am also trying to create rhythms for the new songs that I wish to write. I took out a pen from my fountain pen collection to write only recently….”
She is also getting calls to do shows. “Funnily, people are requesting for my ‘Tansha’ band to sing Spanish, Arabic and world music. I’m blessed that the few who have called me have been patient and understanding.”
Tanvi promises to make a big comeback as a musical artiste and will soon start recordings and doing shows, like before. “I haven’t disappeared,” she assures, “I will come back and when I do, I will come back super strong. Now, I feel like I have got a second life.”
Published – September 30, 2024 03:55 pm IST