Victorians had been under the impression an act of vandalism caused the flooding that shut down two Melbourne train stations last week – until Transport Infrastructure Minister Danny Pearson fronted a media conference on Wednesday to reveal the cause had, in fact, been an “amorous couple”.
The minister took a short period to work himself up to the revelation, explaining to the press corps outside parliament how a flood event had impacted both Melbourne Central and Flagstaff, and that initial reports pointed to vandalism.
The couple in question.
But there was much more to the story, as the minister eventually found the words to explain.
“I’ve been advised that Metro [trains] have reviewed the CCTV footage, and it would appear that an amorous couple in a stairwell dislodged the sprinkler …” The minister trailed off and appeared at a loss as a burst of laughter erupted from the press corps.
The city loop was thrown into chaos on Thursday as patrons departed the concert by pop star Olivia Rodrigo. Investigators said offenders had damaged a water pipe and a fire sprinkler at about 10.40pm.
Pearson attempted to delicately undress a matter no minister had ever before been called upon to do: an apparent attempted fornication on the city loop.
Danny Pearson in March.Credit: Gus McCubbing
“Metro will be investigating these matters further, and police are investigating,” he said.
“Perhaps a stairwell might not be an appropriate place to find yourself in at the end of a dinner,” he offered as advice.
