Liam Payne’s sister Ruth Gibbins is speaking out publicly for the first time since the passing of her brother.
In an Oct. 19 Instagram post, Gibbins shared a heartbreaking message about the former One Direction singer, who died on Oct. 16 after falling from a balcony on the third floor of a hotel in Buenos Aires, Argentina. He was 31.
“I don’t believe this is happening,” she began. “Many times have I poured my heart out publicly with pride about Liam but never much about life as his sister. Liam is my best friend, no one could ever make me laugh as much as him, doing his impressions always had me creasing and he loved seeing how much of a laugh he could get.”
Along with her emotional message, Gibbins post included a carousel of photos, which showed pics of her and Payne over the years.
Gibbins noted that Payne “moved out when he was 17 to chase his dreams” and she said she enjoyed being around him as he started to make a name for himself in Hollywood.
“I used to love picking him up from work when it all started, especially after concerts, speeding us away from venues or appearances, Liam plugging in his phone to show me the new songs for albums. Liam loved 1D, he loved his brothers and we talked about it so much,” she said.
Gibbins also addressed Payne directly in her message, writing that she was “struggling to catch up with what’s happening” and “didn’t understand where you’ve gone.”
“I don’t feel this world was good enough or kind enough to you, and quite often over the last few years, you’ve had to really try hard to overcome all that was being aimed at you,” she wrote. “You just wanted to be loved and to make people happy with your music.”
She also touched on her late brother’s struggles with self doubt.
“You never believed you were good enough, I hope you can now see this outpouring of love that you never received in your time,” she added.
Gibbins ended her statement by thanking Payne for the “incredible memories” that he’s given her over the years. She also shared her sadness in not being able to help him.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” she said. “Love you, oh how my heart misses you.”
