Carrie Fisher’s only child, Billie Lourd, paid tribute to her late mother on Monday with a sweet Instagram post honoring the Star Wars actress.
Carrie passed away on December 27, 2016, four days after suffering a heart attack on a flight. Doctors found traces of illicit drugs in her system; the actress had sadly battled addiction her whole life.
On what would have been Carrie’s 68th birthday, Billie took to social media to remember her mom and acknowledge her grief.
“My mom died when she was 60. 60 is too damn young to die,” she began. “I did everything in my power to help my mom get sober, but sadly, my mom couldn’t ever escape her addiction.”
“My mom would’ve been 68 today,” she continued. “Dead person birthdays are weird, to say the least.”
“On my mom’s birthday every year, I try to celebrate her as much as possible, but today, I really wanted to celebrate her with her.”
Billie is the only child of Carrie and talent agent Bryan Lourd, who were together from 1991 until 1994; when Bryan came out as gay to Carrie, the pair split and continued to co-parent. Billie and her mom were extremely close before her death.
“Some years my grief makes me feel the warmth of her love, some years it makes me angry, some years I feel numb, but today when I woke up I just felt sad,“ she continued. “I didn’t want to celebrate; I just wanted my mom.”
In the post, the 32-year-old explained how her mom’s early death led to her googling the average lifespan of a woman in her effort to understand the tragic loss.
“While she was alive, she always shared the ups and downs of that struggle with others in hopes it would help them escape their own addiction,“ she said. “As an addict, being open about the struggle is the only way through.”
Billie finished the emotional post with a hopeful message: “Sending my love to anyone out there who has lost someone to drug addiction. You are not alone.”
Carrie was not the only family member Billie was forced to grieve in 2016; just a day after her mother’s death, Billie’s grandmother, the iconic Singing in the Rain actress Debbie Reynolds, passed away from a stroke.
Despite dealing with these family tragedies, the Scream Queens actress has welcomed two children, Jackson and Kingston, since her mother’s death. She shares her two kids with her husband, Austen Rydell.
On her mother’s death day in 2022, Billie described the intricate feelings surrounding her children and her mother, mourning the fact that they will never meet.
“My mom is not here to meet [my children] and isn’t here to experience any of the magic,“ she wrote in a social media post. “Sometimes the magical moments can also be the hardest.“
“That’s the thing about grief. I wish my Momby were here, but she isn’t. So all I can do is hold onto the magic harder, hug my kids a little tighter. Tell them a story about her. Share her favorite things with them. Tell them how much she would have loved them.”