News of the Weird: ‘Tis the season

If the waiting list isn’t too long, you may still have a chance to visit McKamey Manor in Summertown, Tennessee, an “immersive horror” experience that is personalized to each guest and involves a six-hour-long tour. People magazine reported on Oct. 8 that guests are required to sign a 40-page waiver and must be over 21; in addition, they may have to complete a “sports physical” and provide proof of medical insurance before arriving. “We’re known for no quitting and no safe word,” said owner and Navy veteran Russ McKamey. “Your hair may be chopped off, dentistry may be done, you may have a tooth extracted.” McKamey was arrested in July for second-degree attempted murder, rape and domestic violence after an incident with his girlfriend, but the charges were dropped in September, and McKamey Manor is up and running.

What’s in a name?

Hades Funeral Services in Stalowa Wola, Poland, had to apologize after a mishap with a corpse on Oct. 19, the Associated Press reported. “As a result of an unexpected technical failure of the electric tailgate lock in the hearse,” the company announced, “during the transport of the body of the deceased, an unfortunate event occurred” — that is, the corpse came flying out the back of the car and landed in a crosswalk. The accident “does not reflect the high standards of our company … and the respect we always show to the deceased,” Hades claimed.

The way the world works

Stop that hugging! Travelers leaving the New Zealand city of Dunedin better say their goodbyes at home, the Associated Press reported on Oct. 22. The airport’s drop-off area will now restrict parting hugs to three minutes in an effort to prevent traffic jams. Airport CEO Dan De Bono said officials hope to “keep things moving smoothly.” Not all travelers were accepting of the time limit, saying the rule “breached basic human rights.” But, De Bono assured them, “We do not have hug police.”

Suspicions confirmed

Nope, that wasn’t Parmesan cheese to sprinkle on your pizza. Police in Dusseldorf, Germany, uncovered a drug ring after busting a pizzeria manager who was selling a popular “No. 40” pie, which was delivered with a side of cocaine, the Associated Press reported on Oct. 22. As officers buzzed the apartment of the manager, he threw a bag of cocaine, cannabis and money out the window, which landed in the officers’ hands. After the manager was released, he went right back to delivering No. 40, and that’s when investigators uncovered the supply chain, arresting three suspects and raiding the homes of 12 others. Pizza man is back in custody.

Fetish afoot

A 28-year-old Greek man was arrested on Oct. 8 in Sindos, Greece, after a neighbor reported that he was in the front yard, sniffing his family’s shoes, which had been left outside to air out. The Associated Press reported that the sniffer told the court that he couldn’t explain his behavior and was embarrassed about it, stressing that he had no intention of hurting anyone. On Oct. 17, the judge sentenced him to a month in prison and mandatory therapy.

It’s a mystery

Scientists in Canada are trying to figure out what the white blobs are that are washing up on Newfoundland beaches. The masses range in size from a coin to a dinner plate, United Press International reported, and started appearing in September. Officials said the mystery substance is under investigation, and opinions are split about whether it could be coming from a whale. “An answer would be nice,” groused resident Dave McGrath.

Speaking of whales …

The orca show audience at SeaWorld San Antonio on Oct. 12 was treated to a little something extra when the whale defecated in the pool, then splashed the soiled water onto spectators, United Press International reported. The crowd and employees were hit with the poopy water; SeaWorld has not commented.

News that sounds like a joke

• Is today April 1? The Campbell’s Co. announced on Oct. 23 that for a limited time, it is changing the name of its popular Pepperidge Farm cheese snacks from Goldfish to … Chilean Sea Bass. CNN reported that the switch is part of a strategy to attract adult fans, and the crackers themselves will not change. “We know Goldfish are … loved by snackers of all ages. … We went ahead and gave our iconic cheddar cracker a new, fun, grown-up name,” said Danielle Brown, vice president of Goldfish. (Best job title ever.)
• In Chestertown, Maryland, students have been studying since 1782 at Washington College, WTOP-TV reported. Our first president gave permission for his name to be used for the school, and even contributed 50 guinea coins toward its founding. But on Oct. 8, the college announced that it would update its logo, adopted in 2013, which uses the general’s scripty signature, for something less cursive-y. “Because cursive writing is no longer taught universally in K-12 education, the script … was difficult to read and not immediately recognizable for many prospective students,” said Brian Speer, the college’s vice president for marketing and communications.

Weird in the wild

Matilda Campbell was visiting the Hunter Valley on Oct. 12 in New South Wales when she dropped her phone into a 3-meter crevice between two boulders, The Guardian reported. Instead of waving goodbye and heading to the mobile store, Campbell tried to retrieve the device. That’s when she slipped upside down into the gap and hung there for seven hours as her friends and emergency workers tried to free her. The team navigated Campbell through a “tight S bend.” “In my 10 years as a rescue paramedic, I had never encountered a job quite like this,” said Peter Watts. “It was challenging but incredibly rewarding.” Campbell, in her early 20s, escaped with only minor scratches and bruises. Her phone is a goner.

Government in action

After an adult man injured himself on a cactus in a school building in Plettenberg, Germany. Mayor Ulrich Schulte and the town council have banned cacti from all municipal buildings, schools and nurseries, Sky News reported on Oct. 16. “All official and private cacti must be removed,” Schulte proclaimed, because such plants can cause “ugly injuries.” “Even if this order seems adventurous, superfluous or ridiculous to some employees, it has a serious background in terms of protecting the health of all employees and especially children,” he said.

Redneck chronicles

Ernest T. Bass has nothing on Roy Clowder, 37, of Coden, Alabama. On Oct. 11, WALA-TV reported, Clowder, who was already on probation, allegedly approached a woman who had stopped at a convenience store and asked her for a ride home. She agreed to take him, but he displayed a gun and told her to move to the passenger seat. Clowder took her to a local church, where he and the woman had a “makeshift wedding” on the church steps. They returned to the car, where Clowder assaulted her while driving around Mobile County; he eventually released her and her car. Authorities arrested Clowder the next day, charging him with first-degree sexual abuse, first-degree kidnapping and first-degree robbery. He’s being held without bond.

— distributed by Andrews McMeel Syndication