DEAR ABBY: Boyfriend hasn’t left his home in over a year

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DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with someone for 11 months. We’re both each other’s first relationship after being single for a few years following traumatic breakups. During our entire relationship, he has not cut his hair, left his house or socialized with anyone besides me, except via text.

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He doesn’t visit me, but he always leaves his door open for me. We have discussed going out, but he always finds a reason to stay inside. After a while, I realized they were just excuses. He claims to be fine, but his mother and I are worried. She told me he became this way after his breakup and COVID.

My boyfriend always seems happy around me and states that he wants to marry and have children. He also says “I love you” and expresses his desire to be with me. His social media shows a completely different man, but it was all prior to his breakup. What should I do? — DISCOURAGED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR DISCOURAGED: Because this man was a different person before his breakup and the COVID pandemic, and his mother is also worried about him, speak up. People who lose interest in things they used to do and no longer groom themselves may be suffering from depression, which his doctor could help him with.

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Make it clear to your reclusive boyfriend that you have been patient for almost a year now, and if he wants to continue having a relationship with you, he must consult a licensed mental health professional about his fear of leaving his house. Without professional help, he won’t get better, and this could become your life as well.

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DEAR ABBY: My husband’s friends and their son came to spend the weekend at our new camper with us. We asked their son repeatedly in front of his parents not to do damaging things. After the weekend, at my husband’s urging, I texted the woman about his behaviour. When her husband texted mine about it, my husband didn’t back me up. My daughter told me she heard him tell the man on the phone that it was all me, and that they were welcome back when I was on vacation. I was furious.

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That was three years ago, and my husband still hangs out with them. He has asked me to apologize so we can all be friends again. Am I wrong for demanding he tell the truth, that he wanted that text written, that he lied and it was NOT “just me”? I want him to back me up as he should have. — TICKED-OFF WIFE

DEAR WIFE: Face it. Your husband set you up and then chickened out. Where he should have a backbone, it appears he has a wet noodle. You are not wrong for wanting him to fess up, but don’t expect it to happen. On this subject, your husband is more interested in pacifying his buddy than what your feelings about it may be. You have my sympathy.

— Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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