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Much like the mysterious DB Cooper – if he were Scottish, famous, and a woman – Lorraine Kelly has disappeared. That’s the gripe, at least, among some fans of Lorraine, Kelly’s popular ITV morning show. In recent years, the presenter has been taking more and more time off from her regular hosting duties; a X/Twitter account called “Where is Lorraine?” (@LorraineKWatch) even devoted itself to documenting her absences. “It’s really hurtful, actually,” Kelly said, in an interview with The Guardian last week. “Maybe it started off as a wee joke, but it’s the way that everyone piles on. I find it really sad.”
In the grand scheme of online celebrity-shaming, the Lorraine absenteeism watchdog was really rather benign. Compare it to, for instance, the Twitter page dedicated to tracking Taylor Swift’s prolific private jet usage: it’s easy to imagine why Swift threatened legal action against an account that laid bare her T Rex-size carbon footprint. But charting Kelly’s holidays? It’s hardly a scandalous criticism, nor an inaccurate one. (Kelly featured as the host for 154 out of 258 total Lorraine episodes last year – less than 60 per cent.)
The critique – and the implication of professional laziness – clearly stung, though, and, as Kelly made clear, she had her reasons for dipping out: initially, to care for her ill mother, and then to simply do other things. (“If you look at This Morning, everybody else does four days,” she remarked.) She is 65, after all – the sort of age where it’s entirely normal to want to scale back on work, if not retire completely. After Kelly’s interview last week, the “Where is Lorraine?” account announced it would stop posting. The joke, such that it was, has stopped being funny. But here’s the thing: when the dust settles, Kelly really ought to take the whole hubbub as a compliment.
Do you know how rare it is for a person to be on TV most days, most weeks, for the majority of the year, and for audiences to still be demanding more? British morning TV is a biome that all too often nourishes the divisive or the insipid, the Richard Madeleys and Piers Morgans of the world. For Kelly to remain such a prolific presence on TV, while also never outstaying her welcome – the epithet “national treasure” has been bandied around a fair bit – is a testament to her own skill as a TV presenter, her natural charm.
It’s true, too, that Kelly’s elusiveness has been overstated at times: in addition to the not-to-be-scoffed-at 154 hosting stints on Lorraine last year, Kelly could be seen guesting on other programmes, and competing on the ITV reality series The Masked Singer. And besides, there’s something to be said for the flattery of absence; for scarcity’s ability to fuel demand; for the power of negative space. Much like a great but injury-prone footballer, Kelly’s stock only seems to rise when she’s nowhere to be found.
The fact that Kelly has opened up about just how much the criticism has hurt her will likely put a stop to it. In any event, viewers should make peace with the fact that they will probably only see less of her going forward. This is natural, and healthy – to demand anything else would be frankly unreasonable. Where is Lorraine? That’s none of our concern.
