Tonight’s episode picks up where we left off last week: Sandy has called Ellie and Bri to the bridge to hash things out. Ellie says she has no problem leaving today because she’s proud of her work and thinks she’s been a good leader. The editors hit us with a time stamp (6:10 p.m.), so I excitedly assume something is about to go down. Will Aesha be stuck solo on dinner service?! Fortunately for the guests and crew, nothing of the sort happens. Unfortunately for us viewers, nothing of the sort happens. Sandy doesn’t want to make any changes in the middle of a charter, so she just asks the two stews to be kind to each other until then. If I wanted to watch people being kind, I would go watch The Great British Baking Show.
Sandy wisely asks Aesha to change the bunk assignments so Bri and Ellie don’t share a cabin. Aesha seems reluctant to, but she tells Gael and Bri that they’ll swap. Except two nights pass in this episode, and they still haven’t switched. I’m not sure what the holdup is — every second counts when these stews are in close enough proximity to smother each other in their sleep.
The dinner is goddess-themed for primary Coleen’s birthday, and the guests do a great job with the outfits. They love Jono’s scallop pasta, although “lots of flavor” isn’t quite the same compliment as “great flavor.” Jono also bakes a cake, which he’s not confident in because he “entered the culinary arts” later in his life and didn’t go to culinary school. I know the phrase “if he wanted to, he would” is usually reserved for relationship advice, but I think it applies here. What’s stopping you from taking a quick pastry course, Jono? I bet these tips could pay for it. When the cake comes out, Coleen cries. I didn’t think it looked that bad, and it’s all good because they’re happy tears. Jono stays in the clear.
Meanwhile, Joe is not in the clear. While Ellie sets up for a post-dinner pajama party, he plays the piano and improvises a song about his situationships for Iain and Nathan. Joe sings, “Who’s it gonna be? Bri or Elle?” The guys don’t realize Ellie is IN THE SAME ROOM AS THEM setting up a pillow fort for the slumber party. If I wrote this in a script I’d be told it’s too sitcom-y, but sometimes real life delivers. Ellie thankfully lets them know she’s there and that she’s “enjoying the music.” Joe: “Oh, shit.” He says it’s just a little joke with the boys, but she’s heard enough. Ellie is “dried up” if Joe thinks he can get whoever he wants. She’s done with him, and for once, I support her wholeheartedly.
The next morning, it’s the last day of the charter. One guest, Stacy, wakes up early and asks for the hot tub to be turned on. Gael shows Nathan how she’s turned on the hot water at 7:25 a.m., and the tub is ready by 7:35 a.m. I’m not sure why we’re getting time stamps, but once again my drama senses are on high alert. Stacy leaves the ’cuz at 8:05 a.m. I’m eagerly following the timeline like it’s a true-crime podcast. Ionel, the chief engineer, comes up and asks Nathan who touched the jacuzzi because they didn’t close a valve, and now there’s no hot water on the ship. Nathan says Gael did it, and I’m wondering how many guests are about to be hit with no hot water during their morning showers. This could be a disaster. Will Jono have to boil water in the kitchen for them? Will the cappuccino Aesha’s making turn out as a lukewarm latte that gets thrown in her face? Again, my worst-case scenario fantasies are just that. Ionel gets the water fixed quickly, yet Sandy says it’s the kind of mistake that shouldn’t be happening on charter five. She calls Nathan and Iain to the bridge, and Nathan takes the blame. Sandy’s glad it didn’t affect the guests, but she sees it as another problem with Iain’s lack of leadership. A flashback montage of all his past mistakes might hint at a mass exodus before the next charter …
Later, Iain asks Nathan and Joe what happened with the jacuzzi. This time, Nathan says he didn’t touch anything, but he’ll take the blame because he doesn’t want anyone to give Gael a hard time. From what I can tell, this is far from the noble deed he thinks it is — he was right next to her when she turned on the hot tub! Joe thinks Nathan wants to take the blame because he’s hooking up with Gael and that the sole female deckhand is getting treated like a princess. The ugly side of Joe is truly coming out in this episode. Nathan tells Gael what happened, and she apologizes to Iain, offering to talk to Sandy. Taking too long to break up with her ex-boyfriend aside, she is the most mature deck crew member by far. Iain says it’s fine, but Gael still goes to Sandy to take the blame because she doesn’t think Iain should take it. She takes responsibility, obviously nervous and teary. Sandy’s not mad and loves that she took accountability. Gael also has her head screwed on straight when it comes to her budding relationship with Nathan: She tells us she doesn’t want to get ahead of herself by jumping from one relationship to another. Nathan hopes he and Gael can make something work after the charter season. I think I’ve heard this song before, but I’m provisionally hopeful for them.
At this point, we’re almost 20 minutes into the episode and haven’t heard about laundry yet, so you can all guess what’s coming. Bri can’t keep track of what she’s done versus what Ellie has done, so she asks Ellie not to move or do the laundry, and Ellie agrees. They both just sound sad and defeated here. Bri tearfully tells Aesha this plan, but Aesha says Bri can’t be the only one to do laundry.
The guests leave a $21,500 tip, and Sandy announces another reward: Tomorrow the crew will go to the Acropolis and a beach club. These people are exhausted and need sleep, not a day in full sun among thousands of tourists or, as they’re planning tonight, another late dinner out. Ellie correctly assesses this and stays in. Unfortunately, this probably is further isolating her socially from the rest of the crew. In the after-show, she does interviews alone, which seems telling.
In the cars en route to dinner, everyone gets filled in on Joe’s overheard song. Joe says he will apologize to Ellie tomorrow, which is too late. Her good opinion, once lost, is lost forever. Bri also doesn’t want to chase Joe anymore. The next day, while the soon-to-be-ex-roommates get ready, Bri tells Ellie she heard about the song and is sorry for her. Ellie reminds her it was about both of them and claims she didn’t want to upset Bri by telling her about it. It’s a moment of hope for them; nothing unites coworkers like the shared hatred of another coworker. Bri doesn’t know who Joe thinks they are. Ellie: “Exactly! I was like, Bitch, I got NFL players in my DMs.”
At the Acropolis, Bri even takes photos of Ellie, so they seem to be on good terms. There’s a cutaway to Captain Sandy on the boat that I expect to be her checking availability of replacement stews, but there’s no more talk of firings. Self-proclaimed history lover Aesha plays tour guide for the group, reading off a single page of paper. The chances it properly covers the 3,000-plus years of history are negative. I wish I could’ve recommended the free Rick Steves Audio Europe guide to them.
More in their element at the beach club, Joe has still not apologized about the song, taking his sweet, sweet time. Ellie brings it up and says she felt disrespected by it. Kind of like how the country of South Africa might feel disrespected by Iain’s speedo. Anyway, Joe apologizes, but based on the preview for the rest of the season, it doesn’t look like he’ll be changing his ways.
After the largely uneventful day off, the crew departs early for the next charter due to wind. They’ll receive the provisions and guests on anchor. We’ll meet the guests next week, and it should be a treat: They’ve requested a “culinary masterpiece” for dinner that rivals a Michelin-star restaurant. They’ll get Bib Gourmand, maybe. And it’s not just me being hard on Jono. He knows it’s an impossible task, noting there’s no Michelin restaurant with only one chef. Why this franchise is allergic to sous-chefs we may never know.
One thing we do know is that the laundry is still a mess. Sandy is missing her red shirt, and Bri doesn’t know where it is. We get our second flashback mistakes montage of the week, capped off with the clip from earlier this episode of Bri not wanting Ellie touching laundry. Aesha finds a solution, asking Ellie only to do rags, napkins, and towels. This way, Bri can’t blame Ellie for mixing up clothes, and Aesha will know who’s at fault. Aesha says if Bri keeps making these mistakes, she’ll consider letting her go. A classic threatened-firing cliffhanger — well, more of a hillhanger — to leave us on.
