It’s nearly Christmas – which means it is peak cuffing season and you need to do everything you can to avoid being single. Because there’s nothing more tragic, desperate, or pathetic than being the lonesome, ugly jumper-wearing, pigs in blanket-eating person with nobody and nothing to bring them festive joy, like a sad, single bauble with no jingle left.
To avoid this diabolical Bridget Jones-like fate, you must continue dating the person you don’t like very much and wait until after Christmas to dump them. In other words: drag it out.
In case it isn’t obvious; I am being facetious. But this seems to be the genuine consensus behind the newest dating trend among Gen Z, misleadingly named “sledging”. No, it has nothing to do with winter sports. Coined by the dating app Happn (aka, take the following with a pinch of salt), the term refers to those who deliberately draw out dates with people they’re not interested in, or delay a breakup with someone they’re already in a relationship with, and drag them along – like a sledge, get it?! – ‘til the festive period is over.
According to a survey conducted by Happn involving 653 people, one in 10 people aged 18 to 25 will keep seeing someone they don’t really like this winter, while 15 per cent admitted to having been in a relationship where they waited until after Christmas and New Year to break up with them. The primary reason for “sledging” someone along for silly season? Well, 60 per cent said they wanted someone to have sex with, while 50 per cent said they wanted to have someone to cuddle when it’s cold. A staggering 40 per cent wanted to avoid feeling lonely.
To me, the findings highlight two key issues with the way we date today.
The first is the stereotypical (and incorrect) perception that being single is a limbo state – a waiting room you need to get yourself out of as quickly as possible, and with particular urgency at Christmas. It’s not a position from which you’re supposed or allowed to be content. This has been disproven by every single woman I know, myself included.
Being happily single is not just possible, it’s vital – for our sense of self, our confidence, and also, ironically, for our future relationship prospects. Seeing it any other way is only going to hold us back and drive us towards making unhealthy romantic choices.
I’ll be spending this Christmas single for the third year running and frankly, I can’t wait. I’ll be able to go to whichever parties I want, staying out at late as I like, and I won’t have to worry about anyone else’s family politics over the dinner table.
The second key issue in the study is the nature of the relationships we maintain today. The sheer fact that people are willing to string someone along for weeks – possibly months – despite knowing they’re going to break up with them as soon as the tinsel has fallen is an abysmal indictment of the depraved cesspit dating has become. It’s a place where manipulation is rife and morals don’t matter – nor do other person’s feelings, by the way.
I fear that app culture has normalised a base level of cruelty in dating. Not interested in someone? Ghost them and swipe again. Like this person but prefer someone else? You don’t even need to tell them. Enjoy feeling like you’re in a relationship but don’t want to commit? You can be in a situationship.
Sledging sits within these murky waters where nobody is communicating properly and everyone’s a loser, regardless of who’s pulling the strings. It’s certainly not something I’ll be subscribing to this festive season – and I hope you won’t be either.
