Impressed by actuality TV, Buddhist monks grow to be matchmakers

GANGHWA ISLAND, South Korea —

Three monks, a horde of reporters and 20 singles searching for love walked right into a Buddhist temple.

The singles sat on grey mats within the heart of the temple’s research corridor, visibly tense as a result of the 2 dozen reporters crammed within the again had been inflicting a small scene.

An irritated cameraman snapped at a competitor: “Are you able to get out of my shot?”

The three monks of the Jogye order — South Korea’s largest Buddhist sect, with round 12 million followers — appeared on with placid smiles.

So started the third version of “Naneun Jeollo” — or “To the temple” — a matchmaking occasion launched final 12 months by the Korean Buddhist Basis for Social Welfare to satisfy the faith’s dedication to fostering “social cohesion.”

A woman with dark hair reaches up to place a note under one of many pink lanterns, flanked by green and orange ones.

One of many organizers reminded the individuals of the weekend’s stakes: nothing lower than the way forward for the nation.

“I’m certain all of you may have seen how that day-care heart in your neighborhood has someday changed into a nursing residence,” he mentioned, pulling up a pc slideshow titled “Getting older Society.”

It confirmed that during the last 20 years the variety of infants born every year had been halved and that by 2050 the aged would make up roughly 40% of the full inhabitants, straining the nation’s welfare methods and deepening labor shortages.

The singles took within the figures with well mannered but stony expressions.

“For the sake of the low birthrate,“ the presenter concluded in an upbeat tone, “all you must do right this moment is actively take part and discover a good accomplice.”

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The Buddhists modeled the weekend after a matchmaking actuality TV sequence referred to as “I Am Solo,” which has produced eight marriages and gained a nationwide following.

This — together with the bizarre premise of celibate ascetics taking over the problem of worldly romance — has given the Buddhist model its personal viral fame, which the muse hoped to maximise by opening it to the press.

“We wish to unfold the phrase,” mentioned Myo-jang, the monk who leads the muse. “We’re hoping someday there can be an version for each Buddhist temple within the nation.”

A man with a shaved head, wearing glasses, faces two rows of people seated on mats, as people stand in the background

The individuals — 10 males and 10 girls — had been advised to anticipate some media, however not the movie set’s price of cameras that adopted them right into a courtyard for formal introductions.

“My thoughts goes clean,” mentioned considered one of them, a 30-year-old who works in finance. “I believed there can be at most one TV crew. I really feel like somebody who simply dedicated an enormous crime.”

The identify on his badge — “Seong-hun” — was a pseudonym drawn from a pile, similar to on the TV present.

He was considered one of 147 males and 190 girls who had utilized to take part within the April weekend, held at Jeondeung Temple, the oldest Buddhist monastery within the nation.

“We display screen the individuals very rigorously,” Myo-jang mentioned. “We wish to ensure that there aren’t individuals searching for one-off flings.”

The weekend was free and open to all religions. Candidates had been required to submit employment information and a private essay, and age and geography had been taken into consideration to maximise the probabilities of long-term coupling. However Myo-jang mentioned one issue was crucial: craving.

Solely those that hungered for real love, like Seong-hun, had made the reduce. Since his final critical relationship in faculty, Seong-hun had found discovering love to be troublesome. He disliked courting apps, however massive social gatherings sapped him. His mom had been telling him to take courting classes.

Sooner or later within the relentless battle to seek out monetary stability, life had begun to really feel like a perpetually half-full glass “that simply wouldn’t replenish all the best way.”

“I’ve gotten too cautious in my 30s,” he mentioned. “After I was youthful, pure attraction was all I wanted, however now, I discover myself getting hung up on little doubts approach too early within the relationship.”

What precisely he was searching for, he didn’t know.

“I feel what I’m drawn to is somebody who’s powerful on the skin, however delicate on the within,” he mentioned.

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After the singles had turned into their uniforms — a conventional Buddhist garment consisting of a magenta vest and wide-fitting navy pants — Shim Mok-min, the skilled emcee employed for the occasion, gathered them round him.

Shim, who was wearing a child blue go well with, estimated he had performed about 50 occasions like this one. Most of them had been hosted by native governments as a part of a nationwide effort to carry the nation’s nosediving fertility fee — the variety of youngsters the common lady has over her lifetime — nearer to the two.1 wanted to keep up a secure inhabitants.

A man in a pale blue suit holds a microphone while standing next to a woman, facing two rows of people with hands raised

The hovering price of homeownership, poor work-life stability and the fracturing of conventional gender roles have continued to push South Koreans away from marriage and replica.

Greater than half of these between the ages of 30 and 34 are single, and final 12 months, the nation’s fertility fee — already the world’s lowest — fell to 0.72.

Among the matchmaking occasions Shim hosted had storybook endings, like one held by town of Yongin that produced a wedding. The mayor officiated the couple’s wedding ceremony, and Shim emceed their youngster’s first birthday celebration.

However much more usually, they ended up turning right into a recreation of survival.

“I’ve seen the ladies being swapped out with every new group whereas the boys keep the identical, spherical after spherical,” Shim mentioned. “One occasion I did had two girls and 18 males.”

A woman in a pink vest looks to the left as three other people hold pencils near sheets of paper while seated on the floor

The video games he was now moderating had been icebreakers designed to tease out any early points of interest and encourage small acts of bodily contact.

“At occasions the place everyone seems to be new to this format, you must push them a bit,” he mentioned. “The last word objective is to direct site visitors in order that individuals have clear paths they’ll pursue in a while.”

Shim had the singles take turns answering questions from the remainder of the group.

“Your hair is so good,” one of many males advised Ji-su, a 33-year-old policewoman. “What do you utilize on it?”

Ji-su cracked a smile and mumbled a solution.

Men and women, in pairs, touch their palms together while seated on mats in a row

By the point the group moved on to group bingo, any preliminary shyness had been changed by a complete dedication to profitable. With each level scored, the singles screamed and high-fived each other.

Shim frantically reminded them why they had been right here.

“You’re right here to seek out your different half,” he mentioned. “The video games are only a means to an finish!”

A spherical of pace courting, through which the women and men took turns having brief conversations with each other, wrapped issues up.

For dinner on the temple cafeteria, the singles would break up off into pairs. The ladies with the best recreation scores got first choose, and a program organizer led them exterior, one after one other, to a laptop computer displaying head photographs of the boys.

“That was tiring however enjoyable,” mentioned Seon-jae, who was picked fifth by a 31-year-old dental hygienist.

He didn’t know if he preferred her again but.

“I suppose I’ll have to speak to her and discover out,” he mentioned.

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After dinner, the group convened for another spherical of video games.

Shim turned down the temper, main the group in a meditative chant, instructing the singles to carry palms and gaze into one another’s eyes.

“Empty your minds,” Shim mentioned.

Knees had been now being touched, whispers shared and heads drawn collectively.

“Carry your mats nearer collectively,” Shim mentioned.

Seong-hun talked animatedly with Yu-jin, a 33-year-old actual property advisor whose sister had met her husband at a Buddhist temple.

Ji-su, the policewoman, was in a quiet dialog together with her accomplice wanting charmed, till one of many reporters walked over and caught his digicam a couple of foot from her face, making her recoil.

For the night’s last act, everybody took a brief stroll to the teahouse for a romantic cafe outing, however with rotating companions. After just a few hours of dialog below the delicate yellow lights, {couples} would select their dates for the subsequent morning’s nature stroll.

“The individuals will textual content us who they like essentially the most later tonight,” mentioned Kong Ji-yu, one of many organizers. “If there’s a match, the 2 can be paired collectively for the stroll. For the remainder, we’ll accomplice them with somebody we really feel fits them.”

Final 12 months’s occasion had produced two matches, with one of many {couples} reportedly nonetheless courting. The organizers, observing the proceedings from the foyer, had been now hoping for 3.

The singles sipped fruit tea on the wood tables, wanting relaxed and sleepy. Digicam-wielding reporters zipped by means of the slim aisles like bees, zooming in on faces and palms.

After just a few rotations, Yu-jin, the true property advisor, went to the counter to refill her lemon tea, wanting as much as see a reporter in an extended trench coat pointing his handheld digicam at her.

The reporter, who was filming a information documentary for nationwide broadcaster KBS, fed her a line.

“Say ‘I wish to meet a very good accomplice by means of this program,’” the reporter mentioned. “Simply as soon as, actually shortly.”

Yu-jin reluctantly obliged.

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Seong-hun went to mattress early that evening feeling contemplative.

Right here he was making an attempt to flee the casualness of courting apps, solely to really feel like he was dishonest each time his dialog accomplice modified.

“I spotted I would like to start out by determining what precisely I’m searching for,” he mentioned. “Perhaps I’ve simply been overcomplicating issues in my head.”

The following morning on the courtyard, Kong, this system organizer, appeared happy.

“There have been 4 matches final evening,” she introduced.

To keep away from harm emotions, she added, the small print of who picked whom wouldn’t be revealed to the group.

Couples wearing deep pink vests, seated on mats facing each other, hold hands

Seong-hun had requested the organizers to pair him with somebody at random. He sat along with his assigned date at one of many tables exterior the cafe and dived right into a dialog about life’s malaise, whereas a digicam drone buzzed overhead capturing the strolling {couples} posing for pictures by the cherry blossoms.

Huddled collectively just a few tables over with an air of weariness was a gaggle of 4 calling themselves “the failed {couples}.” They’d dropped any pretense of romance and skipped the stroll.

What’s extra, the individuals had been fed up with the reporters from KBS. “One in every of them tricked me into an interview by asking me to ‘simply sit down for a second,’” mentioned Chae-won, a 32-year-old health club trainer.

Would occasions akin to these — and their regular contribution of recent {couples} — assist reverse South Korea’s fertility disaster? The group was skeptical.

People stand talking near a stone wall and banners in an outdoor setting

“What actually must be addressed is the price of residing and housing costs,” Chae-won mentioned, as the remainder of the group nodded alongside. “Proper now, I have already got my palms full simply from taking care of myself.”

Even when she ended up getting married, she would suppose twice earlier than having a child.

“I see colleagues getting the stink eye for having to take a time off due to their youngster,” she mentioned. “Issues have supposedly gotten rather a lot higher in that regard, however that’s nonetheless the way it goes.”

Later, the matched {couples} can be inspired to pursue their relationship past the temple partitions, below their actual names.

And on the closing ceremony, Yeo-am, the temple’s abbot, supplied some parting phrases of knowledge.

Relationships, he mentioned, had been made not from a burning love however quietly accruing affection.

“My sense is that there are one other three or so potential {couples} on this group,” he mentioned, pointing to the 2 singles nearest to him. “Why don’t you two strive seeing one another?”

The 2 laughed awkwardly.

A man standing on the left speaks to a woman seated on a temple bench

When the abbot started taking questions, Seong-hun raised his hand.

“How do I eliminate this vacancy, this sense that I’m lacking one thing necessary in life?” he requested.

The abbot advised him to start each morning by performing precisely 108 bows, a meditation train in Korean Buddhism. And for all of the weekend’s emphasis on discovering a accomplice, the abbot’s recommendation was a reminder that some journeys in life have to be made alone.

“That’s one thing you could resolve by yourself,” the abbot mentioned. “No different particular person can prevent from it.”

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