I’m a 41-year-old man and I’ve been married to my spouse for 10 years. I have at all times been bisexual, however as a result of I needed a household (we’ve two younger kids) I turned a blind eye to my homosexual aspect. I believed I might stick with it for ever, however after hiding it for thus lengthy I developed insomnia and different illnesses. A yr in the past I made a decision to discover my sexuality. After a couple of meet ups with random males, I met a person who’s 20 years my senior and shortly fell in love. I am now in a loving sexual relationship with him. I really feel a lot extra sexually assured and have a happiness I’ve by no means felt earlier than. Nonetheless I’m starting to undergo from gastrointestinal issues as a result of stress of dishonest on my spouse and being disloyal to my youngsters. The insomnia has received worse and I have begun to make use of alcohol to get to sleep. I like my spouse dearly, however my attraction to her fizzled out quickly after our second youngster was born. I don’t need to break up our household however I can’t reside with out a man in my life. Ought to I search remedy? Ethical steerage could be appreciated.
Remedy would most likely be very useful. You want a whole lot of help, though “ethical steerage” is just not referred to as for in any respect. You’re who you’re – an individual who’s “wired” in a sure approach – and that’s impossible to vary, even if you would like it to. Solely if there’s a chance that your spouse will settle for the reality of who you actually are, and I can perceive you might not need to threat telling her in case it’s unacceptable. However the toll that is taking up you is gigantic. Maybe, after some particular person therapeutic assist, you may additionally use a {couples} therapist to discover a option to discuss to your spouse about your distressing scenario in a secure and palatable method.
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